READY OR NOT

Woke up this morning feeling achy, bruised up, sleepy, and excited!! I strapped on wheels for the first time since high school, maybe even middle school. I remember how it felt then, like second nature. Getting on the cool skate floor, lights low, good music, wind in my hair, feeling kinda...cool. Well, I felt anything but cool last night! As I laced up my skates, stood up on the carpet, and took my first step, I felt completely intimidated. What a sight I must have been. It didn't feel natural at all. It felt completely foreign, as if I hadn't been on skates ever in my life. I thought it would be better as I pushed off onto the sky blue skate rink floor. I used to live on roller skates. I remember my first pair. My cousin Kristy and I made laps in my great grandma's basement. I could go to the skate rink and even, dare I say, skate backwards! Comb in my back pocket, hair feathered, and praying a boy would ask me to "couple" skate. Well, last night, all I needed was a walker, a pillow taped to my derriere, and a motorcycle helmet! I was flailing around like a swarm of bees were attacking me. The little kids whipping around me, only to giggle as they went by this "old lady on skates", made it feel as though I was going faster than I really was. I went around once, muscles in my body I hadn't used in years woke up. My feet started cramping like there were nails in my boots. To top it off, I swear I was sweating, and out of breath. I think I held my breath for the whole minute it took me to go around. I was just proud I hadn't fallen....yet.

Finally, I took on a little speed, and remembered the faster you go, the easier it is to balance. My inner thighs were on fire, and my knees were shaky. But, I realized I had a huge smile plastered to my face. I was skating, and I hadn't fell. I stopped to take a breather along side the cement divider. Remember, I was stopped. Not skating. I fell straight down to the ground and hit my arm/elbow on the cement wall.

I FELL JUST STANDING! IT WAS HUMILIATING, AND HILARIOUS AT THE SAME TIME!

I got back up, and figured I better just skate. I woke up feeling more alive than I have in a long time. I have a huge green and purple bruise on my right inner elbow, and here is the kicker, I am proud of it! ROLLER DERBY, READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!!