This morning, as I was blow-drying my hair, I started thinking about my my childhood, and my grandma & grandpa's farm, and my farm in Princeton, and then my thoughts went to my Dad. Ever since I can remember, my relationship with my Dad has been less than desirable. Sure, there were good times mixed in with the bad, and it is true we recall the bad stuff more quickly than the good, but something spoke to my heart this morning....
When my parents moved me from Park View to Princeton, at the ripe age of like 10, I thought it was the end of life. I didn't understand why my mom and dad would move out to the middle of now-where to an old house, which looked more like a barn stuck on a hill in the middle of cornfields, than something you should live and sleep, bathe and eat in, when my life in Park View was so...well...GREAT! Then it was as if a voice spoke to me in my heart. It said, "Your dad just wanted your grandparent's to be proud of him. How could he give you what he never got?" Well, this took my breath away.
Up until about 2 years ago, I was in angst over my relationship with my dad. I would forgive him, but never forget, and this cycle was actually hurting me more than him. A couple years ago, I decided to not have contact with him. I have found that the less I speak to him, or really anyone on "his" side of the family, the better off I am...The better off I am ? ??? hmmm...
Today I have been asking myself, "Am I better off?" The Bible says to honor your mother and father. In the last 16 years since my parent's divorce, I have barely sent him a Father's Day card, or Birthday card. Now mind you, there has been so much hurt when dealing with my dad, that it would be inappropriate for me to elaborate. But, I believe the Lord has put it on my heart to TRULY forgive him, and to honor him. I don't believe this means I have to be "best friends" with him, but I think the Lord is going to show me how to love my dad the was the Lord wants me to. And, I am open to anything the Lord wants me to do. So...
If you have anyone in your life who you need to forgive, just say a little prayer for the Lord to change you, to help you forgive. I will let you know how my journey turns out.
When my parents moved me from Park View to Princeton, at the ripe age of like 10, I thought it was the end of life. I didn't understand why my mom and dad would move out to the middle of now-where to an old house, which looked more like a barn stuck on a hill in the middle of cornfields, than something you should live and sleep, bathe and eat in, when my life in Park View was so...well...GREAT! Then it was as if a voice spoke to me in my heart. It said, "Your dad just wanted your grandparent's to be proud of him. How could he give you what he never got?" Well, this took my breath away.
Up until about 2 years ago, I was in angst over my relationship with my dad. I would forgive him, but never forget, and this cycle was actually hurting me more than him. A couple years ago, I decided to not have contact with him. I have found that the less I speak to him, or really anyone on "his" side of the family, the better off I am...The better off I am ? ??? hmmm...
Today I have been asking myself, "Am I better off?" The Bible says to honor your mother and father. In the last 16 years since my parent's divorce, I have barely sent him a Father's Day card, or Birthday card. Now mind you, there has been so much hurt when dealing with my dad, that it would be inappropriate for me to elaborate. But, I believe the Lord has put it on my heart to TRULY forgive him, and to honor him. I don't believe this means I have to be "best friends" with him, but I think the Lord is going to show me how to love my dad the was the Lord wants me to. And, I am open to anything the Lord wants me to do. So...
If you have anyone in your life who you need to forgive, just say a little prayer for the Lord to change you, to help you forgive. I will let you know how my journey turns out.
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