The Fat on Skinny

To my surprise, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroid in 1997. I had spent three months feeling horrible, and tired. My hair became thin, I couldn't concentrate and, despite working out and eating the way I always had, went from a size 7 (135lbs) - (maybe a little anorexic for my 5' 11" frame), to a size 20 (245 lbs). I lost some "friends", my confidence, and love for myself. I did not want to exist as a fat girl. I was skinny my entire life, until now. Since, I have been treated for hypothyroid with all the common medications; cytomel, synthroid, glucaphage, but I am still hovering around 245 lbs. It is amazing how differently people treat you when you are skinny, healthy, or fat. When I went to research Gastric Bypass, the other people considering it who were at the meeting looked at me like I was Paris Hilton walking into a Lipo convention. With my BMI of 37, they didn't think I was fat. They were all around a BMI of 47 or above. I suppose as with anything, fat or skinny is all relative. Relative to what? Society? Then why is it, in America, we idolize the 1% of skinny chicks, and critic everyone over a size 2. What the heck is a double zero??? Seriously, I read in a magazine this weekend that the media considers Mandy Moore as vuluptuous. She is a size SIX!! Come on people. It is obsurd that we buy into this crap! To place our self-worth on sizes! The pin-ups of the past were all "plus size" but were considered gorgeous, beautiful, and what a woman should look like. Plus Size = should be changed to "Normal Size" clothing. Why do we label everything anyway? Why is the plus-size department always by the materinaty clothes? Why does Lane Bryant Sell Chocolates at the their clothing stores? Hmmm.. Now, ten years later, I have realized who I am. I am not my size, I am not my hair color, I am not the car I drive, I am not the man I am with, or the clothes that I wear. I am a 33 year old woman who has a loving husband, wonderful family, tons of REAL friends, brains, an education, and a life. Then what is the problem you ask?? Well, here comes the kicker.... In order to live this life to the fullest, I need to make decisions. I have allowed my having hypothyroid, be the reason for for not being "healthy", hold me back long enough. I want to take off some weight for health, not for beauty, society, or because "thin is in". See, if we were to do as the Lord wants us to and treat our bodies as Temples, then mine has a McDonalds Drive-through inside of it. It is easier to do the wrong things, but in the end you don't gain anything (positive) from it. It is hard to do the right things because it takes faith to believe that through hard work, dedication, disipline, and courage, a pay off will come.. I am a "quick fix" girl. I became fat fast, and believe it needs to come off fast. Well, it hasn't come off in the last 10 years so I guess I need to have some faith, pray for dicipline, and start on my journey. I truley have no excuses as to why I am not more active. I am young, and I am ready to make a change. A change for ME!! I will keep you posted..